ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
