Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just tell him i said nine months
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's blow job season.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
