who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
