I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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