that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
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He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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