Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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