I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize