I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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