if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
