I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize