I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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