The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He kissed a someone with a penis
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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