The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
