woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
