Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
