Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just had sex bonerless
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize