playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
