i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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