she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
