I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
