Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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