yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
