is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
