im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you