After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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