i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
