hotel room ftw
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
