he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm too high and old for this...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
