is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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