at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
