saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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