Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
