So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
