He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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