i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
