I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
