I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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