Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
