Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
