i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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