omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
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Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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