Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I smell like Dick and happiness
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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