Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
