Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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