It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
