He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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