This is not my ceiling
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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