no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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