Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
