its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
