How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
