I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
