i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
