that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
