That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
