does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
