All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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