I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
