I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
