Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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