Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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