The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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