Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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