I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
